I have had a blessing today....at the end of the day.....after a very awful day!
It has been one of those weeks where I have had no patience, where I have snapped a few too many times at the kids....you know what I am talking about...right?!?!
At one point this morning I went into the bathroom and closed the door and said to God, "why are you not helping me here? I am asking for you to help me and it is not getting better!"
(this is selfishly speaking, of course, because I just want everything to go smoothly and for Sara to have a happy day)
Tonight we are driving to church and I am listening to a preacher on the radio talking about Romans 12:1 & 2- which coincidentally I have been reading this week and trying to put it into practice! So he says he understands how we want to go back to our old ways- reacting in anger, wanting everything to go our own way, wanting to be in control...(at this point I am very intently listening and thanking God that He is directly speaking to me!)
Long story short, the point is that if I want to put on these new ways- the ways of God- I need to renew my mind- constantly!!! I have figured out that just reading the Bible in the morning is not enough to keep Sara on track! I need to continually stay focused on Jesus- on the Word, on Godly music that will remind me of my purpose!
I was really convicted because I so clearly see the downward spiral in my days. Get up, read Bible, pray, have about 30 minutes of relative calm as I am still reminded of the Word and of my goals (bringing glory to God and not myself, teaching my children about God, serving others).....then things start to shift and my mind goes into the gutter again :), of thinking of myself and my needs and my wants and why does everyone want so much from me and why won't everyone just leave me alone!!!!!!!
And then things go further downhill when the kids go have their quiet time/nap in the afternoon because instead of renewing my mind with God's truths and promises- I get on the treadmill and watch movies or tv crime shows, etc- which does nothing to build me up and strengthen me for the rest of the day when I need to be there for my family. (not that I think watching things are wrong- there is a definite place for relaxing and doing something enjoyable- but it is what I need to ADD to the routine- some time with a good Bible study book, listening to inspiring music while I walk on the treadmill....- you get the idea)
I was encouraged by hearing that specific verse on the radio- and then of course going to church and having a Bible study that was totally focused on Jesus and his Resurrection (we were finishing up Luke), and then to pray with encouraging friends. This all showed me------it was the ANSWER to my question- remember the question I asked God---"why are you not helping me here?" He was helping- His WORD is readily available- He had a message for me to hear on the radio- he had verses for me to hear at church....
What a blessing! Thank You, Lord, for answering even our rude questions! Thank You for caring about me- thank You for answers! Thank You for having patience with me!!!!
I had to post Lydia's painting again....it goes along quite well with these thoughts :)