Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What God Has Been Teaching Me

The other week, Pastor was preaching out of James 4. Verse 1 says; "Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?" If you look at the conflicts that arise in our daily living, it is usually because we, or someone else, is being selfish. When our Pastor applied this to parenting he said that whenever we get frustrated with our kids it is because we are in the flesh (being selfish). I can see how this is true. I did a little test and SURE ENOUGH....whenever I felt my anger rising at the kids, I have stopped and said to myself, "how am I being selfish right now?" And the answer is usually something like this:

*I do not want to be bothered right now, I want to do my own thing and not have to help my child

*I care about myself and what I am doing more than I care about my child right now

*I cannot even take the time to explain something to my child right now, because I am lazy and want my child to just quietly and perfectly go about his/or her duties

It sounds pretty bad to say it that way, but really when it comes down to it, every single time I get frustrated with my kids, I am being selfish. Even in a scenario when they are dead wrong- my job here is to nurture them, & take time to teach them.

Let me just tell you that this road of learning is a LONG one, and right now I feel like I have just started on this road, because the problem is what do I do with it?!?!?!

At least now that I can see the problem clearly, each time this happens, I can catch myself and know that the frustration is rising....and hopefully I can decide the right choice- which may be....

**to take the extra time to deal with a discipline problem- take time to talk and pray with my child.Take the opportunity to love and nurture and teach them about God and His lOVE, instead of just snapping their head off and going on to my more important matter (what is more important??).

**put away my personal desires to give attention to my child- this is sometimes hard but rewarding...I find that my day is much happier (even for me) when I put others first.

Slowly, slowly, I can see that true happiness and joy comes when we are trying to live for God and others and not ourselves. It sounds backwards- but it really works...God is wise!

Strangely enough, when I do get my priorities right and give to others, it seems God gives the gift of time and energy to do things we want. Some of my best painting has been done when I have used my daily energy for others. What a gift.

Good thing we have God to help us. It is hard to live for others before self! Does anyone else have this problem, or am I the only wicked one?!?!?!?! :)


rabryan said...

you must be the only wicked one ;)
no, it really aggravates me when I'm in the middle of something and Bobby has a "request" drives me bananas, and it really shouldn't.

Jeremy and Amy said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sara. NO, you're not the only wicked one; that was convicting to me, too!

tacky said...

I am so glad that God "shares His Word with all of us" since we all have that "deperately wicked heart" and He knows it! I have been in the same "zone" lately and have had to do alot of "weeding" in the "garden of my heart"...ever since having to study for the mother/daugther devotion the Lord has been working on me! Let me just say...ragweed and stinkweed can look pretty for awhile...then look out!!!
Love your wicked cousin Kari

4kids&luvit said...

Monica makes me laugh! I think all moms who are honest will admit that this is a constant struggle- our selfish naturse versus how we SHOULD act as Christian women. Good reminder post!

The Younges said...

Praise the Lord for His word!!! I was convicted when Pastor was preaching too... I continue to pray about this as well!! Thank you for sharing with all of us!!

Sue said...

You hit the nail on the head but I don't think I could have articulated it nearly as well as you have. It is a struggle every single day for me (you would think I would be thankful) and I don't even get frustrated because of things I want to do, but rather MUST do to keep my children safe and fed and my house in some semblance of order!!! I find myself behaving like my 2 yr old and the Holy Spirit reminds me, "She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Ouch.

Anonymous said...

I've been struggling with frustration a lot this week. Now that we're done with school, I want time for me and not to be bothered by the kids, etc. That's a good reminder to be less selfish and focus on what is truly important.

Keri said...

What a great blog. Once again, more great wisdom for my "mommy file". Thanks for sharing.

Katie & the boys said...

Something I needed to read!

Sarah said...

Wow. Given the fact that I am crying right now, I can tell you that you are not the only wicked one. You nailed it. Thanks for sharing. I really needed to read that tonight.

It has been a really BAD week in my corner of the world. I've been thinking that maybe the best thing for my family is to put my kids in daycare and have me go back to work...yes, it's been that bad. You are so right, most of the problem is me being selfish and not wanting to give my kids the time and energy that they need.

Thanks again for sharing.

Pam said...

Girl, I battle this EVERY day. Thanks for sharing what you have learned. I'm sure it was a great sermon.